Good on you Lumpy
. Here's today's adventure...
Been trying to lend an Amazon Kindle book to my sister but haven’t been able to do so since changing to the Australian Amazon site. I know there is some way of changing your account back to US so thought I’d give Amazon a call. It’s ringing...
Uh oh! A nice Indian lady, Sumana, but I can’t understand a word she is saying and she can’t understand a word I am saying.
Entire call was 20 minutes. Below is just a tiny excerpt from the conversation and I use that word loosely. This is the bit where I was trying to convey the title of the book I was trying to lend - ‘Squall.’ (I’m in bold and you’ll see I got the hang of things in the end)...
Squeal?
No, Squall. Squirrell?
No, Squall. Squoll?
No, Squall. Can you smell it for me?
No, it’s a digital book. Can you smell it for me?
Spell it? Yes, smell it.
S for Sam. C for cam?
No, S for Samuel. Emanuel?
No, S for scream! S like estimate?
Close enough – next letter is Q for queue. Queue?
Yes! Okay, C for cue.
No, Q as in quiet. Okay [
she said this suspiciously slowly].
Did you mean okay or, Oh! K? Yes, K as in cue.
No, Q as in quantify. Oh, quantify, K.
Let’s come back to that one; the next letter is U. Partrick, is this the second letter?
No, it’s the third one. The one after K?
Yes. Okay.
The next letter is U. Queue?
No, U as in under. Like under an umbrella?
Yes! You are doing really well. The next letter is A. [
Long pause] A what?
The next letter is A as in apple. A as in arm?
Yes! Okay, R.
No, A as in apple the fruit, not R as in aardvark. A for apple?
Yes! That’s great! The next letter is L as in elephant. Or as in leg? [
Long pause from me this time calculating if there could be any possibility of confusion]
Yes, you’ve got one immediately! I don’t have an elephant now Partrick.
Sorry, I meant you had a leg. Yes, I do. Sorry Partrick, what was the letter after A?
That was L for elephant. Thank you Partrick for your patience.
Not a problem. The last letter is another L. Another elephant?
Yes. So there are two elephants in the book?
Yes. Let me read that back to you Partrick. The book is called Sprawl. E, K, U, A, L, L. Partrick, shouldn’t Sprawl begin with an S?
Yes. Can you for me holding the line Partrick?
Yes. [
One minute wait.] Thank you for your holding Partrick. Are you sure your purchase was from Amazon?
Yes. But Amazon does not sell any book with that spelling.
Okay, can you change the second letter to Q as in question? But you said K before?
Yes, sorry I was incorrect. So the book is S Q U A L L.
Yes! Yes! Can you for me holding the line Partrick?
Yes. [
One minute wait.] Thank you for your holding Partrick. Amazon does sell that book. Would you like to purchase it?
No, remember I was saying earlier that I was unable to lend it? Did you purchase it?
Yes. Then you can lend it.
No, I can’t. This is what I am calling about. The book is lending enabled but there is no option for me to do so. Can you for me holding the line Partrick?
Yes. [
One minute wait.] Thank you for your holding Partrick. Squirrell is lending enabled so you can lend it.
No, this is what I’m ringing about. I think I am unable to lend it because my account is in Australia. Can you for me holding the line Partrick?
Yes. [
One minute wait.] Thank you for your holding Partrick. Your account is in Australia so you cannot lend it.
Okay, how can I change my account back so it is a US account again? Can you for me holding the line Partrick?
Yes. [
One minute wait.] Thank you for your holding Partrick. You will need to call for Amazon in Australia to help you. I will email you for their details Partrick so wait beside your email soon.
Thank you very much Sumana and you have a nice day. Thankyou Partrick and I hope I have been of excellent service to you and have solved your problem.
Yes, it was very good, thank you. You have a great week Partrick.
You too Sumana.
FFS! It’s only midday, too early to drink yet. Might as well get this bloody problem solved. Let me call Amazon Australia... Press all the numbers and it’s ringing – really not much wait time at all. Cool!
“Hello, welcome to Amazon Australia, this is Sumana speaking. How may I help you today?”
Noooooo!
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