Post #26 made 2 years ago
Oops! Sorry Josh :sad:. In Australia we are instructed to report, and, preferably kill, European Wasps since they slipped into Ozland in the 1970's and quickly spread across the nation. Their sting is painful and can often last several hours. Source. I went to the beach though last weekend and didn't see one!

Lumpy, did I tell you what I did at the beach last weekend? No? Ok, here are my diary notes from the day...

[center]Sculptures by the Sea[/center]
[Note to artistic people should my confidential notes below be stolen: I'm just taking the piss here okay? It was really very good. To everyone else, you can work out if I just took the piss then or am about to start taking it now :)]

Went to http://sculpturebythesea.com/cottesloe/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; today.

Arrived with two adult friends, Roswitha and Jutta, and two children, Olivia and Leo. Put $5 in one of the donation cans and then Roswitha and I went to get coffees. Took ages, so, when we finally scored the coffees, we walked back and sat by a sculpture that looked like... well, anyway, texted Jutta, "Meet us at the sculpture that looks like it fell off the back of a garbage truck." Unfortunately, Jutta had only brought two children and, unbeknownst to Roswitha and myself at that stage, there was far more than one sculpture that fitted that description.

Regardless, through the modern wonders of "Find my Phone" we eventually 're-connected.'

There's no doubt that the exhibition is amazing though. For example, a tourist would, on first glance, be startled and exclaim to themselves, "You reckon they would tidy the joint up before exhibiting these dozen sculptures." They'd then be truly amazed, as was I, that the things making the mess were most of the actual sculptures! There's actually not a dozen, there's over seventy!

The only two ways I could tell if something was a sculpture were; firstly it would have two tiny signs below it; one saying the sculpture and artist name and the other saying, "Do not touch!" The second dead give-away was, if it was a sculpture, there would almost definitely be at least one kid climbing over it.

I hope the above helps a bit for those who haven't visited yet because, before I realised the above, when we'd finished our coffees, I grabbed the three empty cups and put them in the rubbish bin. Later I understood the looks I got; I'd actually put the cups inside one of the sculptures! Oops!

There were some sculptures that did look like sculptures and, apparently, all sculptures have meaning. I think I got the meaning of two, and, by the conversations and laughs we had with other viewers, I was about 50% above average. I've attached a pic below of one of the many I didn't get the meaning of. When I saw it, I went, "What the f&*k?” Jutta, far more tolerant than I, suggested, "What, the rock?"

One thing I found very disturbing was that the kids, Olivia and Leo, could see things in some of the sculptures that we adults couldn't see. These kids are always delightful so am not sure what's going on there? Anyway, Roswitha bought them an ice-cream and, as they sat outside the shop, enjoying their ice-creams, I recited affirmations to them... "The sculptures are not real. This ice-cream is real."

To finish off, here's a few tips for 2017 Sculptures by the Sea...

Firstly, if you've never been before, you'll do what I did and make a donation before you look at them. But, the only way to get your donation back out of the donation tin is with a can-opener, so, take one. Once you get your money back out, throw the can-opener onto the beach. Not only will you be getting rid of the evidence, in my experience, you'll also be adding another 'meaningful' sculpture.

I'm going again next year but I'm going at midnight before the official opening. I'm going through all my belongings, throwing all the crap I've held onto for years, and throwing it into a trailer. I'm then driving to Cottesloe, reversing the trailer and dumping it all on Cottesloe Beach in one big pile. Then I'm going to pinch two of the signs I mentioned above, from another sculpture, to place beside my pile. This is a win-win situation... I won't get caught, and the artist I pinch the signs from will have their chances of winning the major prize doubled!

Perfect!

[CAUTION: Don't let your kids walk bare feet, in the sand, amongst the sculptures. Obviously, most of the 'art-works' took serious drugs to create. Those sort of drugs probably mean syringes so, just say "No."]

Picture Notes: Green arrows indicate a sculpture nearby. Red arrow means, “Wait a minute.” If a kid climbs on it within 60 seconds, it is a sculpture. If not, look for a kid nearby. The cigarette butt they are standing on, could well be the sculpture. The happy bloke in the pic is BobBrew's brother, I think?
What the rock.jpg
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Last edited by PistolPatch on 25 Mar 2016, 21:28, edited 1 time in total.
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Post #27 made 2 years ago
Ahh, you have experienced what is sometimes called "Installation" art. One is supposed to ponder the artiste"s pre-concept state of mind, then the thought process it took to arrive at the destination (if there is one, as opposed to "the journey" being the goal) and the act of creating the installation itself. If you focused on the 3-D physical representation, well, the art community has terms for such people. Empty canvas? OOOOH! how wonderful. Empty room? Even better in most cases. If there is a next time, cross your arms, rub your chin and declare that you find it somewhat stimulating, but totally derivative. Aren't we all? My wife, the realistic artist, still allows for this stuff.

Post #29 made 2 years ago
I found a Real European Wasp
Image
Last edited by joshua on 26 Mar 2016, 08:08, edited 1 time in total.
Honest Officer, I swear to Drunk, I am Not God.
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Post #32 made 2 years ago
Hahaha I like it!
Some people are like slinkies. Not good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

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Post #33 made 2 years ago
Thanks for the laughs above - good on you :lol:.

For God's sake though, I don't think M_S should be allowed within a 100 feet of children with that elephant joke, not for their sake, his!!!

:lol:

As for the 'installation' at Cottesloe, someone said they had taken some "artistic licence." I'm surprised the officials could take any as I can't imagine any of the exhibitors qualifying for an artist licence in the first place :dunno:. Hopefully next year, all of them will be fully licenced prior to exhibiting.

:smoke:
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Post #34 made 2 years ago
PP not sure if you want to use the word "exhibitor " when talking about next year at Cottesloe and M_S in the same sentence . Haha
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Post #35 made 2 years ago
We're a cruel bunch eh M_S?

Another elephant joke...

Two hunters are out in the savannah hunting elephants when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

:sneak:
Last edited by PistolPatch on 05 Apr 2016, 21:09, edited 1 time in total.
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Post #39 made 2 years ago
No! No! No!

Definitely an American photo that one. We stopped using those hand grenades decades ago!!!

(Mind you, a tad of seriousness for a second... At a buck's party about a dozen years ago, I did taste a Fosters from the tap in Queensland. We all berate it here, but, it was actually very good. I must try one again now and see what it's like.)
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Post #40 made 2 years ago
I didn't really taste it. It was my pregame warm up. Us athletes need our fuel. :D
Some people are like slinkies. Not good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

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Post #42 made 2 years ago
A blind man walks into a bar...








I guess I should have told him it was there.
Some people are like slinkies. Not good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

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