Crunch,
I would not recommend making a beer where you finish over 1.040. That sounds horrible! Even if you start big (like 1.070 or 1.080), I would think you would want to finish in the low 1.020s at a minimum, and likely in the teens. And this is a guess without looking at past recipes or brews.
Do you have the Brewing Classic Styles book? Easy to accurately copy their recipes...and good quality recipes.
Sounds like she would like something with crystal / Carmel malts, like PistolPatch suggested. Or perhaps other malts that have sweetness to the, and taste character.
Still doesn't answer the question on "how bitter", and how much Hop flavor...? My guess (???), maybe some hops and bitterness but not over the top. (???) Really need to confirm this.
And how about Lager vs. Ale? Lagers can seem to smooth out the rough edges of a beer, so to speak. Ales you get a little more rough edges but also some more "character" in the flavor. And how much
ABV to finish with? Think from what you described, on the bigger side is okay...(?)
Lager Examples:
- German Dunkles Bock
- Double Bock
- Dark Czech Lager
- Munich Dunkles
Ale Examples:
- Big Dark Stout (a recipe with plenty of crystal malt)
- Northwest Winter Ale...but may be a tad too hoppy. Could tone that down. And on specialty malts use Carafa Special instead of Carafa for less bitterness...
I second PP's recommendation of getting some commercial examples she likes - if possible. Easier to help with this knowledge. But some styles are hard to find. I've even had some commercial beers from Germany that are fabulous there, but traveling around the beer in a bottle...don't do them any favors. May end up thinking she does not like a beer or style she really does.
In my mind - if my guesses are right I would go with have her taste my Dark German Bock...which is now all drank. Won a 1st place with it last month at the Oregon Homebrew Festival. Looking about 6.5% ABV. I used large portion Weyermann Munich Malt... Lots more details on this naturally. Recipe from the BCS book and tweaked some by me. Very characterful Lager, but smooth as well. Great beer!
That's all I can do without more help from you.